Saturday, April 19, 2014

They'll judge you anyway.

It has been awhile since I have blogged. Believe it or not, I find myself more and more at peace everyday.

Moving forward has been a huge relief. I no longer focus all my time and energy on infertility. I no longer feel bitter about others getting pregnant and little old me being left in the dust forgotten about. I no longer care to have people feel sorry for me. I no longer have fertile friends giving me horrible advice since they're the experts or telling me really cruel things that they don't think about before saying. I no longer feel like it's a smack in the face seeing the "for the mommys" posts. 

I do remember our loss and the pain I experienced. I will always have a love for that baby that no one will understand. Yes, I was only a few months along before our baby passed but what if that were your earthly child? I bet you wouldn't say "At least you weren't that far along." Think about it.

We have officially moved on to the part of acceptance and we are content with not having children. I feel that one of the reasons I wanted one so badly was because literally, all of my other friends were having babies. I don't have to fit in. A lot of those people told me "Well, things happen for a reason." That doesn't make our loss okay. I didn't want to lose our baby but I am seeing that God isn't done with me. I have really opened my eyes! We still have a lot to accomplish in life. I have had a lot of friends and random people tell me how jealous they are and that they wish they could've gotten their degree or traveled. Having a child is a choice for those that are able to. And if you aren't ready for that commitment, don't have one, or two, or three. I do not believe "having a child is the hardest job on the planet." You make that choice. We are used to our peace and quiet. We are used to our alone time and stepping out the door to do whatever we want. It is what we are used to and what we like. There is nothing wrong with that. Some may think it as selfish but there is nothing saying that we HAVE to have kids. It is not selfish to put my own well-being first. It is what society expects. I shouldn't be called a "waste of a woman" because I can't and don't want kids. This doesn't mean we don't agree with you choosing to have kids but we would like the respect of our choice. There is just more to our lives than having children. We are a happy family of two and I am a mother to an angel!




2 comments:

  1. I was JUST posting about the "mommy worship" mentality of our society in a facebook conversation. It's sad that women who have children are seen as these superheros, and those of us with no children are often treated as though we are selfish or can't possibly be as busy or as important as these women who have the "ultimate job". I'd say there are other things in life that one can accomplish that are just as important as having a child. I know we don't know each other, but it is great to hear that you are feeling so positive and content. :)

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    1. I absolutely agree. Thank you and I am glad to have someone who feels the same! I work hard and I have a busy life. With that being said, I shouldn't be compared to someone who has children as being more important. That's their choice! Thank you again :)

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