On a previous blog, I mentioned I am seeing a therapist....okay, I WAS seeing a therapist! I only saw her three times. On my last visit, she had noticed a huge improvement. I guess there is only so much you can say when it comes to a pregnancy loss and infertility. I told her that I am very open about my journey. I mentioned to her my blog, my very popular pinterest board (pregnancy challenged - if you'd like to look me up!), and I now run a facebook page in support of infertility/pregnancy loss. Hearing from many of my followers, I believe, has been what has helped heal me. Hearing their stories, how their heart breaks for me because they have been through the SAME thing, how I have inspired them, all of that has healed me and inspired me. That has been the best medicine.
I no longer have to see my therapist after that session! At the end of our talk, she asked me "What have you gained from our sessions?" I told her "I have learned that it is okay to feel angry, sad, confused, hurt, and wondering "why" after you lose your baby. It's okay to grieve and there is no time limit on grief. To take all the time you need but don't live in that moment for the rest of your life." What a huge relief it felt to say all of that! It really felt good.
My husband and I are back at square one with infertility. My doctor is still encouraging us to keep testing but we decided to take a break. With our decision to take a break, it does not mean we are giving up. I don't want infertility consuming my life...our life. I am still healing - emotionally and physically. I feel that if I stay as positive as I can through this and talking about infertility/pregnancy loss, I can help so many people with their journey as well as mine.
Your heartache is someone else's hope. If you make it through, somebody else is going to make it through. Tell your story.
Hi Ashley,
ReplyDeleteI'm so happy to see how you're healing from your loss. I've never known what it is to lose a child, or to conceive for that matter. A year ago, my diagnosis was unexplained infertility and it made me so crazy, that no one even cared to know the cause of our infertility before they shot me up with drugs and told me that all the reactions I had to them were "rare" and something I just had to deal with. It turns out that I have endometreosis and now that it has been removed and I'm undergoing treatment our chances of conceiving are almost those of your average couple's. I pray that you will heal and begin trying again when the time is right. You are in my prayers. Love, Catherine
www.babystepsandtears.com