I feel like during my 23 years of life, I have endured many mountains. My therapist (yes, I am seeing a therapist since my miscarriage) said that I don't have a plate full, I have a buffet. So true! I never would've thought I would ever make a therapist cry, but sharing my story of infertility and my missed miscarriage had her in tears.
It has been 3 days since my d&c. Emotionally, I'm doing better than what I thought. I have random break down moments, though, which I expect to happen every now and then. Yesterday was Halloween and man, that was hard. I had planned to paint my belly as a pumpkin with my hubby for Halloween. And having to see all of my friends post pictures of their babies in their costumes on facebook was horrible. You can't help but feel super sad and bitter when you see everyone else with their babies....and seeing them happy knowing that THAT moment was supposed to be you soon. That happiness is all gone. It's hard and strange going from being happy and pregnant for 2.5 months to absolutely nothing now.
I'm ready for my body to heal so we can try again. But that is also scary. Is it going to take ANOTHER four years? Will it actually happen again? Then there's the fear of losing another baby. I don't think I want to go through more tests from the doctor for awhile. I want to do natural herbs and see how that goes. I truly, truly believe that is what got us pregnant. For those wondering, I took dong quai and evening primrose oil at the end of my period until ovulation. (I took OPKs and I had a positive! It was my first time using an OPK) After that cycle, I was pregnant! We are hoping this will work again and the baby will hang in there with us. Has anyone out there reading this have a successful pregnancy after a d&c? Has anyone else tried any herbs to get pregnant?
I may have endured many mountains but I am determined to continue to MOVE those mountains!
No comments:
Post a Comment