I know a d&c isn't that big of a deal to some. But this is scary for me. I have never been "put under" and knowing that they will be scraping and vaccuming out our baby is painful. I've had people tell me, "Well, once you have it, you can heal and move on." Do they really know how difficult that is for us?
We tried for this baby for four years. FOUR YEARS. I have undergone many tests to diagnose the reasoning behind my infertility and no answers. I was going back to the doctor to undergo more tests but a week later, after speaking with a doctor, we found out I was pregnant. I don't want to "get rid of this baby." We wanted this one. Now, after the surgery, it feels like we are back to square one. I will be a test dummy yet again. I will never get used to being exposed to different doctors and having them in my personal area to figure out what's wrong. I'm at a lost as to whether or not I should even go through more tests due to this pain I am going through now.
Do people really understand how I feel? I feel those who have gone through battling infertility understand very much so. It's back to where we started, four years ago.
Hugs We will hopefully be back to it in January. My doctor was able to save my tube, but it has to heal &my body get back to 'normal'. aka - not working correctly, but there. I'm lucky in the aspect that I know what my infertility issue is: no ovulation. But it still sucks. More meds, monthly blood work to make sure said meds are working, and now an extra eye on any future (if any) pregnancies.
ReplyDeleteJust know that you are no alone with your sadness/anger/confusion/grief. Prayers & hugs, lady.
I'm sorry to hear that! The doctor wants me to continuing testing but I don't think I want to go back for awhile and be a test dummy again. This is so hard! I think I'm going to take dong quai and EPO again - I believe that's what helped us get pregnant. I will be thinking of you and praying for you. Good luck to you in your journey! <3
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